Wait, we’re actually supposed to pray in here?

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted.  Over the past week or so, I thought of about a hundred things I wanted to blog about, and then I couldn’t decide which one to do.  I was going to write about the whole “I miss you” thing, but Rex and Kendall had already done that.  And nothing is worse than reading about the same thing on multiple people’s blogs.  Unless, of course, they were all talking about how depressed they were.  Hopefully that won’t happen with the awesome peeps at FITN.

But I guess since we’re all in the internship and this is basically all we’re doing, our posts are going to end up being about the same stuff…Silly me…

I’m having trouble focusing in the prayer room.  I keep thinking about my future, and what God’s going to do with me.  But God just wants me to look at him right now.  He’ll deal with my future when I get to it, but for now, He just wants me to focus my eyes on Him.  But that’s hard.  

God’s given me confirmation about some stuff in my future that I’m really excited about.  I want to let that excitement fuel a peace in me, but all it does is stir up anxiety.  Instead of telling God that I trust Him and can’t wait to see how He’s going to fulfill these promises, I keep asking Him questions.  How is He going to do these things?  What does He want me to do right now so that I’m prepared?  Or if anything, I’ll just sit and let my mind think how great it’ll be when those things happen.

It’s good to be excited and comforted by what God is going to do, but He wants to do so much with me right now.  I’ve had at least two or three words in the past week just telling me to focus on Him and nothing else.  You wouldn’t think that would be hard when I’m sitting in a prayer room for ten hours, but somehow it is.

I find it sad that I’ve spent the past month in this internship and most of the time, I haven’t even been focusing much on it.  I’ve spent more time thinking about how God will have changed me after the internship than I have on seeking out God to be with Him.

Hmph.  There’s a nasty disease that plagues a lot of blogs, and I think I’ll call it Narod.  My blog is in such an infant stage that I think I may be catching it.  Or maybe I’m just tired.

Yep

That’s it.  Good night.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

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