Excuse me sir, but there seems to be a root in your canal.

My canals have been rooted.  My gums have been grounded.  Today was a sad day.  My teeth cry out in agony and despair as the pain gushes through my nerves.  Pain I’ve felt, but this…this is agony.  Words are unable to describe it.  Songs cannot touch the depth of emotion.  Even the most intense game of charades could not express the pain and misery that I feel.  Pain.  Misery.  Sadness.  They are the triplets of horror.  They join together like a Christmas tree joins together with lights and ornaments.  But this is no Christmas party…..

Hmmmm, there’s still a long way to go before Christmas.  I need a better metaphor.  Eh, I’m not getting anything.  But anyway, that might have been a little bit of an exaggeration.  Strike that.  It was an exaggeration of elephantine proportions.  Though you wouldn’t know that from the way people have treated it.  For the past month, whenever I’ve mentioned the fact that I might be getting a root canal, people have acted as if it were just about the worst thing that could happen to me.  In all actuality, it really wasn’t that bad.  I wasn’t even drugged or anything and I never really felt any pain.  Even now, although my tooth is sore, I don’t feel bad.

While I was sitting in the dentist uber-chair, waiting for the worst experience of my life, there was a man in the room across the hall who was screaming and moaning like he was giving childbirth or being murdered or something.  It was scary.  The worst part was, the scary death sounds came after my dentist left my room and stopped right before he came back.  He was evil.  I just knew it.  All I could think was that he was going to be a mix between Steve Martin’s dentist in Little Shop of Horrors and Johnny Depp’s Sweeney.  As long as he didn’t start singing, I would be fine.

It turned out that he was neither musical nor evil.  That’s a good thing.  Although it would have been much more entertaining if he had tried to serenade me and my teeth.  Maybe…

I don’t really have much else to talk about right now.  I’m bored and ready to get back to Kansas City.  Being home is no fun when you have to avoid the ones you want to see most.  It’s no fun at all.

Comment, comment, comment.  I need comments.

Buh bye.

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